2001-11-16 - 9:17 p.m.

Now playing: The closing strains of the title track to _You Will Go To The Moon_ by Moxy Fruvous. (who?)

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In yesterday's mail was the check from MassMutual for my share of Grampa's life insurance policy benefits.

I thought it would make me happy.

I thought paying off one of my outstanding student loans, the most pernicious one, the one I was sued over and lost, resulting in a judgement on my credit report, would feel like a great weight had been lifted.

Instead I just feel like shit.

But, I did deposit the benefits check and send off the paying-off check to American Student Assistance at lunchtime. So, even though I feel like shit, my financial situation will improve a little.

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Making things even better is the crunch I'm under at work to get the documentation update done next week. I'll probably be spending a lot of time at the office over the weekend. The prospect does not make me happy.