2001-05-02 - 7:52 p.m.

Now playing: _Last Splash_ by The Breeders.

=-=-=-=-=-

I'm so tired. It was hot out today - in the 80's - and we had a barbecue at work at lunchtime, and then I had an 80-minute team meeting after that. The combination of the two left me seriously drained. At least I didn't have to do the barbecuing today.

=-=-=-=-=

Even though I had no energy whatsoever, I went and visited Grampa after work. He was in the hospital for pneumonia and dehydration over the weekend. He's back at Reeds Landing but in the nursing home part till he regains his strength.

I hope he regains his strength.

=-=-=-=-=

This weekend I went to Wal*Mart in Westfield, about a 20-minute drive through my town and into the next one, and I saw the *most* brilliant hedge of forsythia. It was amazingly covered with intense yellow blooms on every part of it, from the ground up. And it wasn't all scraggly. It really imprinted itself on my mind.

=-=-=-=-=

I think my car is acting up. It had the minor shakes tonight. I'm thinking maybe the muffler is plugging up and the pinging etc is being caused by backpressure. Every time I've had George at Spartan check it, though, it's been fine. I don't know. I want a new car so badly.

=-=-=-=-=

Simon at work again commented today that I didn't seem to be a happy camper. What is the proper response to that? I passed the blame off on my allergies, which were in fact bothering me today, but the real cause of my malaise is that I don't make enough money. I'm treading water and I want to move ahead. I want to be able to save for a house. I'd like and will need a new car. Near as I can tell from the salary surveys from the Society for Technical Communicators, I'm about $15K/year underpaid. That's a lot. But how to say this? I mean, I like my job and I don't want to get a new one. Finding a new job terrifies me. *sigh*