2002-01-04 - 7:28 p.m.

Now playing: _This Old House_ on HGTV.

==========

I took a big step today.

I called my primary care physician to schedule an appointment to figure out why I've been feeling so poorly lately. I have an appointment for Tuesday at 11:40 a.m.

I am about 85% convinced I have diabetes. A lot of the symptoms are there - dry mouth, constant thirst, frequent urination (especially at night - last night I got up about every 2 hours to pee), sweet-smelling pee, unexplained recent weight gain,and blurry vision. I've been experiencing increased thirst since the beginning of December, but the frequent urination didn't come into play until Christmastime. I used to be a camel. Now I'm Old Faithful.

Given my having been overweight by far too much for 20 years, and my increasingly sedentary lifestyle, I'm really not surprised. Sad and scared shitless, yes.

So, I'm expecting to be making some changes in my lifestyle soon. I'm even contemplating purchasing a treadmill. I don't want to embarrass myself at a gym. Walking outside is the pits in this neighborhood.

Where's the magic pill, or the magic diagnosis that will cause me to drop dramatic amounts of weight with no effort? *sigh* I think I've been waiting for that all my life.

Of course, I could be wrong. I've been around a lot of sick people lately. I'm pretty stuffed up right now.

Going to the doctor, which I hate and despise, should clear these things up, I hope. Why do I hate and despise going to the doctor? Because I always get The Talk. Like, do they not realize that I know that being overweight is not good? I have had nutrition knowledge drummed into me for as long as I can remember. I *do* know how to eat right, and in most cases, I *do* eat right. Sure, I need more fruits and vegetables. But I don't binge on snack foods, I don't eat whole half-gallons of ice cream all the time. Other than not exercising much, there's not much to explain my weight. And no doctor has ever been able to tell me what I'm doing wrong. Of course, it's not like I've had two appointments with the same doctor since I was an early teen. My pediatrician had her license revoked when it was discovered she had forged her medical school diploma. Since then, I've bounced from doctor to doctor, about 3 or 4 of them. It didn't help when my insurance at work would change and I'd have to find a new PCP. It also didn't help when my last PCP just up and disappeared. *sigh*

And I'm so tired from not getting lots of uninterrupted sleep. I haven't been able to concentrate on a thing at work all week. Not good! I haven't had the energy to do any cleaning here, so the place is a mess. Well, that's not entirely true. Yesterday I did clean up the magazines and newspapers I'd strewn next to my bed since before Thanksgiving.

I bought a cheap humidifier for my bedroom yesterday. I knew I should have abstained and found a nice ultrasonic one. D'oh! The one I bought makes *far* too much noise to leave on in my bedroom.

So, wish me luck.

=============

One last note: Who the heck is giving my diary 95 page views a day from England?