2001-05-21 - 9:27 p.m.

Now playing: "We Believe You" from the Stars season of Sailor Moon.

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Tonight Mom and I went to visit Grampa at Reeds Landing. He's still in the nursing home part, and thinks he's going to be there until mid-June.

He doesn't like the nursing home part, and said twice he'd consider suicide before going back in there voluntarily. And you know what, I think he'd do it. And that makes me sad.

But I can definitely see where he's coming from. Living in there wouldn't be life. Even though it's nice...it's horrible at the same time. The attendants line all the non-competent patients up in their wheelchairs in a hallway junction outside the nurses' station..it's like running a gauntlet trying to get out when we visit Gpa after dinner. It's so depressing. I can barely remember what Gramma's nursing home was like - I remember it smelling of disinfectant. I don't remember the patients all being crazy. Maybe that's because I didn't see any of the other patients.

I got the distinct impression from the nurses that we weren't supposed to be visiting. However, fuck 'em. Who knows how long Grampa will be alive?

The whole situation has me depressed.

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Work has been utterly boring lately. I'm working on documenting a Web product that is nowhere near being finished. The UI is in constant flux as is the installation procedure. I keep finding operational bugs, too. I feel like I'm spinning my wheels. Plus, I heard this morning that our biggest potential customer of that product is very unhappy with the previews of it. Yay! That means it'll change even more. I need to write some sort of outline on the documentation soon. Spending my days just staring at it isn't doing any good.

OTOH, I got a copy of my ArtiosCAD 3.2 User's Guide and Installation Guide two weeks ago. Man, are they sweet. They're perfect bound and look just like Real Computer Manuals. I did have several shivers up and down my spine when I was first looking at them.

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In other news, Auntie Val is coming down this weekend with her computer so I can help her with it. I am *very* proud of myself for sticking to my guns and not going up there to visit. She wants my help, she can come to me this time. I'm not driving 6 hours for a busman's holiday, nosiree.

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I bought some new jeans last weekend. I didn't try them on, and I washed them this past Saturday. Today I put them on. Man, they are cut differently than my Levi's....It's a weird feeling - they're kind of tight in the thighs.

Then again, it's nice not to have the crotch of the pants hanging down to my knees.

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One last comment: Last Thursday I went to Granny's on my lunch hour to install some garden fencing - the kind that's like croquet wickets. Anyway, I got my first sniff of lilac for the year. It put me at peace. *happy sigh*.