2001-06-27 - 9:15 p.m.

More on Grampa. Here's the email I just sent about tonight's visit.

It sucked. The end. That's Melanie's contribution.

Seriously, it did rot. We went to the Skilled Nursing (SN) to find Grampa sitting in a wheelchair in the common area in front of the nurses station obstensibly watching a video with the rest of the population. In other words, torture for him since it was some 40's musical. Grampa did not remember that Melanie had been there last night.

After greeting him, we looked around for a nurse to ask if it was okay to bring him back to his room for a visit. We finally found two nurses (I know they may not be nurses but it makes things easier) at the extreme back of the nurses station, eating and gabbing and paying no attention whatsoever (at least, none that we could notice) to the residents whom they could not even see. After getting their OK to bring grampa back to his, we did so.

He didn't want to be brought back into "that room." When we said it was for a visit he relented. We brought him in and he yelled at us that he wanted to be out and back on the first floor, presumably meaning his IL apartment by tomorrow night. He was adamant about this because Leahey and his gang have branded him an idiot, and he is not an idiot. This is what Grampa said - we are not embellishing (I'm on the phone with Mel as I compose this). There was some talk about how Leahey convened a 6 a.m. California-time meeting (which he may have). At this point, Grampa started undressing. Twice he tried to get up out of his wheelchair and couldn't. In response to his arguments, we told him he was there because he couldn't stand or walk on his own. To this he had no answer, I don't think it even registered. We helped him up and out so that he could sit on his bed, at which point he started undressing, and he told us he was going to bed because we told him to. We replied that we did not tell him, but again, that did not register. (It was 8:00 or so.) He continued to undress, saying he needed to go to the bathroom. He did not go to the bathroom - as he finished undressing (nearly completely, to Melanie's dismay, who then left the area) he said he did not need to go to the bathroom. We got him situated in bed, and then Patty the attendant came in to "wash him up", at which point we left. Right after he was in bed, he mentioned that he was confusing the order of his children, meaning us.

He told us how Dad appeared and then left, saying he would come back. According to Grampa, he never came back because he (Dad) went to a different dining room that was a course ahead in the meal, and had a better meal than he (Dad) could get elsewhere. Grampa was worried because he thought Dad was involved in something that wasn't kosher. (Again, this is nearly verbatim.) Grampa did acknowledge that he took a nap, and so we assuaged him by saying he might have come back then.

He protested quite strongly to the fact that we brought him magazines and a big mug with a straw for water. He didn't want any of it. The water from yesterday, Melanie's visit, was still there, untouched.

Conclusions:

Grampa is not wearing any diapers or aids of that sort. Why not?

Grampa is not drinking water in his room. Why not?

It appears to us that no one is paying any attention to what he needs. Patty did not seem to be concerned at all. When we mentioned that we'd like him to drink more water, she replied, "We'd like a lot of them to drink their water." One resident almost made it out through the doors before the nurses found him, and they only found him because Melanie had gone to get a nurse for Grampa.

There wasn't any chart anywhere that I could see that would let the shift rotation know his status. Why not? How can they track his water drinking if they don't monitor it?

Why doesn't Grampa have an IV? He's dehydrated and is NOT drinking his water. Whatever he is getting at meals is not enough.

Any answers to these questions are not apparent to us. Karen, can you find out from Mr. Leahey about these things? If they think he needs skilled nursing, why isn't he getting it?

I video taped the visit.